idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I believe in your delicious
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
