Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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