I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
