i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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