North Korea, Best Korea!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
