Please, let me fuck your mom
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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