i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
