thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize