i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
