just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
