Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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