i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
