so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize