I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
