There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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