I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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