3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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