Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
