ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
