I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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