oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
