Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize