Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You left your phone here
Wait...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
