I look better un-naked...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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