I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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