ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude i'm inner monologue high
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
