I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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