Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
only if we run a train.
done.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
