Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
