You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
