Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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