She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
