At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
