Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
