Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
