his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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