My room smells like vodka and shame
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize