My pussy is not your playground.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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