Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
