i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
