One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You had me at "let me see your balls"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
