singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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