I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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