Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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