he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Randomize
