If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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