Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm at about main and main street
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
