you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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