All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
