i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
