Who wears a wallet chain?!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize