At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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