he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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