Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
