You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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