last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
