you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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