Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
