I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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