It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
