I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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